How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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