Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
