I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
