Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
