I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if only i could text you this smell
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
