So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
