I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
