just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
