She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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