I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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