Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize