Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize