so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
