Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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