And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
