I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
