oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We have started to decorate penises.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Randomize
