so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
