Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have already put on my inside pants.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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