You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
