NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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