There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
