I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
