READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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