I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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