Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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