My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
