Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
