I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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