when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
