He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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