i jhust puked up my retainher.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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