Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
