I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
