So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
