Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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