I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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