i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
