I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
