fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
