Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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