the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
