i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
