I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
