he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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