There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
