I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
