wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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