Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
