so explain again why im purple
no
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
