Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
