The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
