She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize
