i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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