Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
try to milk me bitch
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