i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
