so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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