why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
