let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You ruined the universe
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
