brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
