I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
