I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
