just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
